Big Ear Jims

Yes, on the plane again… and this time, after several legs of my trip, I keep getting put behind large, older men. They all have two things in common: they have big ears, and they like to put their seats back as far as they go. At one level, I can’t blame these folks… planes have such little personal space that you’ll do just about anything to gain more, including, pushing your seat back. But this really isn’t a personal decision. Because once someone puts their seat back, they’ve pretty much just affected everyone behind them, too. You now stole my space, sir, and I too am going to have to recline. So, as Jim in row 4, seat B puts his seat back, so does everyone else behind him, at least in the seat B position. I took notice that only very stickly-thin older women elected not to recline when presented with this conundrum. This must mean that stickly-thin women are the ones that have designed the seats with all the space we each are provided. And you can't blame people next to Jim reclining too. At first recline, it looks like (from both your and Jim's perspective), that's you've made more space for yourself because the person in front hasn't yet reclined. Free space! But I digress. “Jim” isn’t content enough to put back his chair. All the “Jims” do similar things once they’ve depressed that armchair button and pushed back with their gut muscle. They keep doing it! They keep pushing back, harder and harder, rocking the seat, to make sure they’ve secured every last centimetre of space allotted their seat’s reclining function. Jim #1 might do it straight away, but other Jims will do it mid-flight. And these Jims, with big ears, also will fiddle with their headrest. Some headrests will move, and some will “wrap around” your head. I am not sure who is responsible for telling you this, but these “Jims” have found this out, and are taking full advantage of it. They’re pulling on the things, caressing the little flaps against their giant ears, and yes, they’re rocking back harder and harder, as if this meager chair is to succumb to them as their new favorite La-Z-Boy. Meanwhile, all of their seat jostlery is making my fold-out tray bounce around. I have to pick up my can of soda to make sure it doesn’t end up in my lap. And forget about propping-up my iPad to watch a video! One guy made my iPad fall so many times that his wife actually turned her head to see what the crash was her husband had created.” Yes, that’s aluminum hitting plastic, ma’am. Quit your damned coughing already, okay? Luckily I didn’t encounter any “Laura’s” on this trip. This type is a woman with long, flowing hair, who likes to fluff it, play with it, and in so doing, has you sneezing because a number of her hairs are now flirting under your nose, causing you to wretch and sneeze.